


Drunken Fears and Hungover Musings of a Non-Dingle

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Acts of Kindness, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Awkward Conversations, Background Relationships, Bechdel Test Fail, Canon Gay Character, Drunkenness, Family Issues, Gen, Introspection, Love, Minor Chas Dingle/Paddy Kirk, POV Aaron Dingle, POV Male Character, POV Queer Character, Past Child Abuse, Past Incest, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Reflection, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:01:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: A slightly AU look at Aaron shortly after he and Chas move into Paddy's. Complete.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Aaron wishes he could be a proper Dingle.

Dingles know how to hold their liquor, and they know how to get properly wasted. They don’t end up in this fuzzy state where they know their mum isn’t home but can’t move beyond awkwardly flopping limbs.

Nearby, Paddy Kirk sighs, and Aaron wishes he were either drunk enough to not know his mum isn’t around or sober enough he could prevent- Brilliant idea, really, to come live with his slag of a mum and her idiot of a boyfriend who, idiot or not, is the bloody village vet, everyone trusts him, just like the Dingles all trusted his dad, and of course, they welcomed her back, but they were disapproving and disappointed at her doing such a decent man wrong.

He’s not a Dingle, and he has no one in the village who’d even consider believing him over Paddy flipping Kirk, the decent man who’s doing right by the son of his-

“Aaron, do you understand? Maybe I should ring an ambulance. I don’t think I can get you to A&E by-”

Part of him is relieved, yes, the hospital, he’d be safe there, but-

“I dn’t need A&E or ambulance. Jus’ weren’t listening.”

The annoying persistent aware part of him isn’t shy about how much of a flipping idiot he’s being.

Paddy waves his fingers, and Aaron realises he’s kneeling down beside the bed. “Aaron, focus.”

“All five fingers,” he mutters.

“Okay, good. Not what I asked or said, but good. Look, Aaron, I need to take your belt off, and it’d be best if I did your shoes, too. Do you understand? Is that alright?”

He latches onto the thought: Paddy might not be like whatever his dad is. He might really only go for women.

If so, as good as this is, Aaron also sharply, angrily envies him this.

“Wha’ever.”

His stomach recoils when he sees Paddy putting the belt and shoes up- he hadn’t felt anything.

“Alright,” Paddy says. “Are you listening now?”

“Lis’ing now."

“I’ve put a bottle of water on the nightstand and left the lid loose. Try to stay on your stomach with your head where it is, yeah? In case you throw up.”

A hand settles on his forehead, and he wishes so badly he could jerk away.

“Your mum is liable to kill us both, but one thing at a time, eh? Don’t take this personally, but I think it best I not leave any medicine out. If you need some during the night or in the morning, I’ll get them. Or if you just need anything else, okay? I’m going to turn the light out now.”

The hand rubs against his forehead, and he’s glad he has his hair shaved down, he remembers, once, his dad had done the same thing, and then, gently tugged on the curls falling on his forehead.

Darkness is all around, and he thinks- he’s pretty sure he can hear Paddy, but he doesn’t feel anything in bed, nothing but the sheets over him is touching him.

Vaguely, he wonders if Paddy pulled the sheets over and tucked them around, he doesn’t think he could have.

Then, sun is streaming into his eyes, the sheets are trapping him, and Paddy’s recliner is near the bed with Paddy awkwardly curled in it and snoring.

Trying to move, he welcomes the pain of hitting the floor over the thoughts racing through his head and making his stomach hurt and his heart cause pain in his chest.

“Here, it’s alright,” he vaguely hears.

Somehow, he ends up alone in the bathroom, and once he manages to get his pounding head steady enough to focus his eyes, he finds, as long as he’s slow and careful, despite the aching jolts of pain it causes, he can control his movements.

When he comes out, he finds Paddy standing in the hall with a mug. “Here. Do you need help getting to the table?”

He just wants to curl back up in bed, but moving away, he manages to get to the kitchen table.

The tea and toast help a bit.

“I don’t know how your mum would want this handled. If it weren’t for her dealing with your uncle’s latest stunt, I’d call her, but even though she might be angry for me not, I’m not going to have her worrying and upset over this right now. So, I’m calling you in sick at college, and you’re coming to the clinic with me today. But tomorrow, you’re going back to school, and afterwards, you’re moving the recliner back where it belongs. And this weekend, you get no TV privileges. Marlon and I are watching a DVD he got in the paper, and you can either watch with us or otherwise entertain yourself. Don’t think that means you can go out, mind.”

He scoffs, and through his irritation, he’s already planning ways to rebel, but- mixed in, he finds himself reflecting, _Too soft_ , _Paddy_ along with an unfamiliar urge to thank Paddy. _It’s reasonable_ , pops into his head.

Sandra was reasonable, too, he unwillingly finds himself thinking. For a long time, though she wasn’t soft, she was loving and kind, never yelling or saying unkind things, and for a long time, she did try to make him happy, and some part of him knew and recognised this.

 _Yeah, that ended well,_ causes a shudder.

Dingle men don’t hit women.

Paddy, for all he’s annoying, too soft, and embarrassing, Aaron suddenly finds he hates the thought of Paddy being put in the same position she was.

If his mum doesn’t screw up this relationship and he himself isn’t soon kicked out, he’s afraid it might happen someday. Paddy, who didn’t touch him last night, with a black eye or worse.

“Aaron?”

Gentle hands are on pressed against his forehead and holding his neck in place.

“Can you tell me what-”

Twisting out of the grasp, he bats at the hands. “I’m fine, Paddy. It just got cold all of a sudden. I’ll go change, and then, we can go, yeah?”

He goes, changes, and isn’t exactly surprised when he finds Paddy standing near the bedroom.

“Look, Paddy-” He sighs. “Uh, thanks. For all this.”

The look in Paddy’s eyes is- Normally, he’d label it as embarrassingly, disgustingly soft, more fit for a bird than a proper man, but-

He’ll admit Paddy is more of a man than he’ll (Aaron) ever be a Dingle.

“Your mum is special to me, Aaron. I knew going in you wouldn’t make this easy, but for her sake, I’m not going to just give in.”

This hurts more than he wants to admit.

Of course, he knew even before Paddy didn’t touch him last night his presence was mainly because his mum agreed to move in with Paddy, and her having to find somewhere else for both of them would definitely mean less sex for Paddy. If Paddy does ever want kids, he isn’t going to want one anything like Aaron.

He would hate having a dad like Paddy, anyways.

Even if he could tolerate one, just like his mum and dad didn’t get a say in the kind of kid they got, he doesn’t get a say in what kind of dad he has.

They get outside, and he shivers against the cool air.

“I was thinking, for lunch, we could go to Bob’s,” Paddy says. “It’s probably best to avoid the pub ‘til your mum gets back. You like the sandwiches there, don’t you?”

“Yeah." Before he can think, he adds, “That’s usually where Victoria has her lunch.”

Finishing locking the door, Paddy laughs and nudges against him. “You really fancy her, don’t you? Well, don’t worry, if she’s there and willing to give you the time of day, I’ll stay out of your way.”

He’s grateful, and he’s not.

When they get into the car, Paddy starts it. “Uh, speaking of her- if you and her do start properly dating, we’re going to need to talk about some things. I know, if me and your mum try to stop you from having her in your room with the door closed, you and her will just be alone elsewhere, and-”

“That’s right. Not much else to say on the matter, is there?”

“Well, yes, there is, but that can wait,” Paddy replies.

The thought of- with Victoria- still, this all feels nice and normal. For all everyone says otherwise, lads are expected to find ways to be with their girlfriends. His mum might have a right fit, and he knows Paddy will find a way to continue on with uncomfortable conversations, but he’ll be normal, he’ll be the same as all other Dingle men.

Maybe, eventually, he might even come close to being something like the kind of son Paddy might want.


End file.
